Mick is the captain and spiritual leader of Melchester Rovers. He is a tough-tackling, no-nonsense, foul-mouthed midfield dynamo - who occasionally bags a goal. Mick is happiest when launching into tackles on chaps from Chihuahua to Chilpancingo. An intimidating figure, he once caused an opponent's girlfriend to invade the pitch. Not one to be put off by such incursive antics - while the offending woman, hysterically bawling, cradled her beloved's head - Breslin asked if the man wanted to kiss him.

New recruits to the Melchester cause are generally indoctrinated to the Melchester way by Michael at one of the many Melchester learning centers in San Francisco - Zeki's, The Irish Bank and Napper Tandy's to name but a few. Look out for Mick's autobiography "A long walk for nothing", in all good book stores soon.